real romance comes from the unexpected

It’s Valentine’s week and to be honest, after a bit of a s*** show weekend on the love front feeling mainly feral, not particularly flirty and definitely not dirty (boo), I kinda found the love somewhere else. And don’t worry it’s not self love (EW!!).

I went on TWO dates this week guys. TWO. One with a gal I went to uni with and another with a dude from a dating app. These dates weren’t terrible by any stretch, they were nice, perfectly nice, but honestly that’s kind of all they were? And I keep wondering when I’ll get that first date high again. You know, where you can’t wait to see them again and it feels like you could wander around talking to them forever, you just want their take on everything. Their name showing up on your phone does that weird squeezy thing to your insides, or when you send them a risky text, delete the messaging app, turn your phone off and forsake all electronic products (until you pluck up the courage to look at your phone again and see their reply). You invent weird reasons to get in touch – reading an article about how to keep plants alive you remember they TOO once mentioned visiting a park that had trees in it, and wonder if it would be weird if you sent the article to them?? Or is it actually really chill on second thoughts? Like so chill, it would be almost WEIRD if you didn’t send it to them, ya get me?

You know mania. Love mania (or is it lust mania?). Whatever it is, it makes you need to wank 3 times a day and refresh your insta story to check if they’ve watched it and feel content that you’ve entered their brain, even just for a second. That kind of thing. I miss it. And even though when you’re in it, it’s kind of terrible, it was also sorta exciting to live life feeling like your skin was that thin. 

The first date was with an old uni pal from my a cappella days who recently came out (not to intimidate anyone here, but yes I used to exclusively make noises with my mouth). She just moved to London and we ran into each other recently at a party, and it was very vibe-alicious. Lots of sexy dancing, lotsa shots, what dreams are made of. She works in film now, and is this really great mix of funny/ gentle/ a savage. Hot, basically. We went to a pool bar in the DAY TIME – I know kinda rogue for some queers – and even though it was fun, it just felt like I was on a weirdly self conscious date with a friend? I was aware that we should probably have been flirting, or being more tactile or something and it wasn’t even like I was desperately trying to think of ways to trigger that gear shift. I just didn’t even want to? Has anyone else ever run out of steam mid date, or is this just a me thing.

“I was on the hype train of heading to the next bar, the next drink, finding the next human being to get high off of.”

Onto date número dos. Sweet sweet Tom. We’d been messaging since my pre-rona days, had a good back and forth – he went with my teasing him about his boring/ intellectual/ boring job as a consultant, and pleasantly ribbed me about my writing “content”, I keep it vague on the apps guys, for obvious reasons. He looked SO hot on his profile. Twinkly, cute, like he’d remember your favourite order at a bar. But, literally as soon as I met him, I knew there was no chance I was ever going to want us to bang. I couldn’t picture it. It cringed me out even imagining it. I didn’t like his voice. Voice is super important to me, I think it must be a music related thing, but if I don’t like how someone sounds I simply CANNOT snog them. It’s a thing.

So after these little whimpers of a date, where did all this romance come from? Well, I don’t really know what the definition of romance is but I’m pretty sure it has something to do with feeling loved and I got a lot of that this week from the ladies in my life. A friend of mine brought me flowers when I was going kind of mad being stuck inside with Covid, and talked to me on my balcony like a good nice human. Another spontaneously came to a gig I was performing at, having not seen them really for months. I’m so used to people surprising me in a bad way, it felt good to be taken off guard. Hold onto the people who surprise you in a good way!! They’re the good ‘uns.

MOST ROMANTIC THINGS SUBMITTED BY THE FLERAL COMMUNITY:

Every few months my boyfriend plans a surprise for me. He lets me know by adding it to my ical. 

Anoushka – 23

I was studying late one night and this guy I was seeing brought me haribos in the library (true love). 

Sammy – 22

My ex-girlfriend used to have sex with me, that was pretty great of her. 

Xav – 30

I had just finished my uni exams and it had been so shit. I was super unwell and sad. I’d gone out (legend) and woke up the next day SO hungover and also ill, and there was a knock at the door and my best friend had SENT ME CAKE. And I felt so loved. PURE romance. 

Libbi – 25

One of my besties & I sent each other books we’d loved when we moved to different countries. 
Jana – 26

My boyfriend made me homemade pickles for Christmas (when you know someone knows you. 

Joanna – 27

I went to Ireland with a guy on a spontaneous trip for his work to be his assistant….hot. 

Tom – 28

LOVE YOU, Tiffany xoxo 

If you’d like to try your luck at finding romance ( of the unexpected variety) then hit this download button.